Happy Thanksgiving and a Goodbye

To all of the people who have stumbled by here haphazardly and occasionally over the past two years or so:

Thank you for taking time out of your day to read our idiotic musings about Maryland sports. Unfortunately, none of us has the time to keep this site going any longer; between school, life, jobs and the fact that posting here always (ALWAYS) gets rationalized to "I'll get around to it eventually," we're just not able to justify keeping this going. However, it was fun while we were doing it, and we got in touch with several awesome people who helped us out along the way, and the highlight of our existence was getting to hear Brent Musberger call Greivis "One hot Venezuelan," God bless you Brent. Special thanks to Spencer Hall at EDSBS, Eric and Marco from Storming the Floor, the guys at With Leather, and of course the fine folks at SBNation and Raycom Sports. It was a pleasure working with all of you, but (sadly) real life calls out to us and we must be moving along and I'm sure our passing will mostly go unnoticed. In any event, queue up the sad walking away music from The Incredible Hulk and pour one out.

Hasta,

The Hell in a Red Shell Team


PS: Duke still sucks.

A Quick Viewer's Guide for the Clemson Game.

Here's your itinerary for tomorrow's matchup against Clemson:

11:45 am. Wake up.

11:50 am. Search for TV channel broadcasting Maryland/Clemson game.

11:55 am. Realize you can't find the game anywhere. Go to computer. Realize it's on ESPNU.

11:58 am. Hooray! you have ESPNU because you have FiOS. Congratulations. Everybody else, get in your car, and go to the bar.

Noon. Kickoff. Maryland gets the ball. Let's go!

12:01 pm. Chris Turner throws interception. Bury your head in your hands.

12:03 pm. Game resumes after TV timeout.

12:04 pm. Clemson offensive touchdown after 8 missed tackles.

12:07 pm. Maryland 3 and out.

12:12 pm. Clemson offensive touchdown on blown coverage in the secondary. Bury head in hands again.

12:15 pm. Turnover roulette! Fumble!

12:23 pm. Clemson offensive touchdown, head, hands, etc.

12:25 pm. Arrive at bar. Crap! Leave bar as game is effectively over anyways.

12:28 pm. Maryland 3 and out following commercial from still dead Billy Mays. Creepy.

12:32 pm. End of First Quarter. More Billy Mays commercials.

12:38 pm. Clemson offensive touchdown on end around flea flicker statue of liberty trick play involving the mascot somehow.

12:41 pm. Maryland fumble on kickoff return.

12:48 pm. Clemson field goal, just to be nice.

12:53 pm. TV turned off.

S is for ...

Shmshmortion, as in that was a shmshmortion of a game on Saturday. In the spirit of the Alphabetical offered up over at EDSBS every Monday, we thought we'd add our own entry for "S."

Maryland's effort in every phase of the game was just abysmal. Not only did the Terps turn the ball over FIVE god damn times Saturday, Chris Turner managed to throw a pick six on the FIRST PLAY FROM SCRIMMAGE. This, when coupled with the fumble in the end zone in the third quarter when Maryland was actually leading the game AND the long runs in the fourth quarter just proves that this team is, at its best, a mediocre football team. And, at its worst like this past Saturday, an absolutely atrocious football team that can't play effective defense, and shoots itself squarely in the face on offense.

Rutgers is not a good football team. But, you don't need to be a good football team when Maryland gifts you enough points to beat their offensive output (see: two defensive touchdowns by Rutgers to win 14-13, essentially). At this point, unless something changes dramatically with this team, or unless the "completely illogical Maryland win" law of college football kicks in soon, it is going to be a mighty struggle for the Terps to get bowl eligible. And that's the rosy outlook for a team that sits at 1-3 going into conference play.

Oof.

Hey, What Did We Miss?

Oh, hey guys, sorry about that. Real life intruded again following our disastrous loss to California. So, what did we miss?

We beat Duke? That's great! Awesome, great win. Oh, you mean it's football season, right. Oh, and it wasn't Duke, it was the James Madison Dukes? That's not nearly impressive - wait, did you see overtime? Holy christ, that's not a good thing. But, ok a win is a win, right, definitely.

So we lost to Tennessee, you say? Well that's not too bad, they have Lane Kiffin and are an SEC team and ... wait, you said MIDDLE Tennessee STATE, didn't you? Good lord, man, that is atrocious. Two years in a row to those bums? And we could have put the game away early? AND there as nobody in the stands? Eesh.

Hey, when is basketball season? ACC Football: Catch the FEVER!

From Bad to Worse: Bruce Campbell Out

The news on the beleaguered offensive line went from bad to worse in the past 24 hours, as Left Tackle Bruce Campbell is out for this weekend's game with Turf Toe. As anybody who plays fantasy football knows, "turf toe" is a very sissy sounding injury that is two things: 1) incredibly painful because it affects the arch of your foot and 2) can linger for weeks and keep even the toughest of football players on the sideline for weeks at a time. This is very bad because losing the left tackle is not only the most important player on the line, you can definitely make the argument that Campbell was the most talented player on the line. Great!

The only positive about this situation is our graphic designer's awesome photoshop that can be seen above, reworking the Army of Darkness movie poster for our Left Tackle who happens to share the same name with the greatest B movie actor of all time. Our designer rocks. As does the poster. Hail to the King, baby.

"Fear the Turtle" is now "Tackling Optional"

Above: A rare moment when a Maryland defender actually put his hands on or near a Cal offensive player.

Things Maryland did well last night:

• Got Da'Rel Scott a solid number of touches, 90 yards of rushing, and a run which went for a touchdown.
• Nick Ferrara made a pair of nice field goals.
• The white uniforms looked crisp.
• No seriously, that's it.

Things Maryland did poorly last night:

• Tackling
• Pressuring the quarterback
• Blocking on the offensive line
• Covering receivers
• Not having stupid, drive killing penalties
• Converting in the red zone
• Preventing big plays from Cal's playmakers
• Holding rushers to under 10ypc averages (Best averaged over 13 ypc)
• Playing the game of football in a non-embarrassing manner on national TV.

Yea, I think that pretty much sums it up, and leads to a final score somewhere in the neighborhood of 52-13. The only reason it was that close was because Cal took their foot off the gas in the 4th quarter. Ouch. Not only was Maryland overmatched last night, they were also flat outplayed, outhustled and outschemed by the Golden Bears. One can only hope that this forces the coaching staff to go back to the drawing board and work on the fundamentals of this football team: effective run and pass blocking on the O-Line, Penetration on the D-Line and general work on tackling. Otherwise, it's going to be a long, long season.

ACC Preview 2009

Well, the college football season is here. It's time for Thursday night football games, Lee Corso screaming incoherently from the TV at you while you are hungover on the couch, and no longer spending "quality" time with your loved ones/spouses/girlfriends/neighbors/other human beings on Saturdays from approximately Noon-2am. Sweet.

In any event, here's your official Hell in a Red Shell ACC preview, here for you just in time for the Terps to kick it off against Cal this Saturday at 10pm. Here goes nothing ...

Conference Predictions 100% Guaranteed to be Wildly Inaccurate

Conference Championship: Virginia Tech over Florida State

Atlantic Division
Florida State 9-3 (6-2)
NC State 8-4 (5-3)
Clemson 8-4 (5-3)
Wake Forest 7-5 (4-4)
Maryland 7-5 (4-4)
Boston College 2-10 (1-7)

Coastal Division
Virginia Tech 8-4(6-2)
Miami 8-4 (5-3)
North Carolina 7-5 (4-4)
Georgia Tech 7-5 (4-4)
Duke 5-7 (3-5)
Virginia 4-8 (3-5)

A few things about these predictions in the Coastal and Atlantic, with the Coastal up first. First, we completely forgot about Georgia Tech on the first run through and just sort of threw them in the middle of the coastal, which probably means they will end up winning the whole thing. Secondly, Miami will either be at the top of the coastal, or start out 0-4 in September and tailspin into oblivion. Finally, the only reason we rated Duke so highly was out of spite for Virginia. Our hatreds are varied, contradictory, and multifaceted, and sometimes crap like this happens for some strange spiteful reason. Embrace it.

As for the Atlantic division, Florida State is only up there based on a general theme of "talent." However, the only team we're 100% sure that won't win that division is Boston College who both sucks AND blows at the same time. For everyone else, we can come up with some wacky scenario that ends up with them winning the division (even Maryland!) because this is the ACC, and anyone who tells you they have a good handle on how this season will turn out is straight up lying to you. Predicting the ACC is basically just correctly predicting a series of coin flips over an 8 week conference season; if you do it correctly, it's pure luck.

Players to watch

Conference wide, there are a ton of intriguing players to watch in the ACC this year. Jonathan Dwyer at Georgia Tech will rack up a zillion yards in the triple option, Russel Wilson is a blossoming quarterback at NC State that good sneak his way into the national spotlight, Jacory Harris is in a make or break year at Miami and then everyone should keep an eye on Greg Boone at Virginia Tech because he is simply a mountain of a human being.

At Maryland, there are a few others to keep an eye on, as well. First and foremost is Chris Goldilocks Turner, as he is entering his third year as the starting quarterback, and we are all waiting for him to make some sort of leap that shows that he finally "gets it." If Turner greatly improves, so could this team. Further, all eyes are going to be on Meggett and Scott as they split carries in the backfield. But, the big story is going to be the play of the offensive line, which is anchored by Phil Costa. How they play will determine the success of Maryland.

Maryland's Strengths

The Defense and the skill positions are clearly the strength of this year's version of Terrapins football. The Defense could be excellent all around - the linebacking corps returns Wujciak, the secondary is quietly one of the best in the conference, and the DLine has the manbeast and HRS favorite player Masengo Kabongo amongst other quality players. While Turner has taken his dings over the years, he is still the most experienced starting quarterback int he entire conference, and the receiving corps has some serious young talent. Both Scott and Meggett have big time talent, and their "smash and dash" (or fire and ice, or lightning and thunder, or whatever you want to call it) could be truly outstanding in wearing down defenses. Maryland is not without upside on both sides of the ball this season.

Maryland's Weaknesses

Unfortunately, both of Maryland's weaknesses could easily be their undoing, despite all the above listed strengths. The entire team is quite young (58 players with 3+ years of eligibilty left), and young teams make mistakes, there is no way around that. Young can be good; it means speed, talent and the ability to make great plays and improve. But young has its downsides too, and the unit that could get hit the hardest by those downsides is the offensive line, which returns only one tried and true player (Costa). The downsides of having a young offensive line are this: when they make the mistakes that young players make, the impact of those mistakes is massive. It results in killed drives, stupid penalties, and - worse case scenario - injured quarterbacks and running backs who have their seasons sabotaged by poor line play. Football is won in the trenches, and the more experience your line is, the better.

Storylines to follow and Closing Notes

The storylines to follow that we haven't already mentioned all boil down to the Fridge: Is this season somewhat make or break for the now slightly less larger than life coach? How is Tony Franklin going to grow as the coach in waiting? If the team bottoms out, is Fridge gone at the end of the season (and Franklin too)? This is going to be a test for the coaching staff, and if they can get a young team up to speed and performing at peak efficiency quickly, this team could exceed everyone's expectations and possibly contend for a divisional title. But, this team could just as easily go the opposite way and bottom out very fast. And then there will be some very tough questions for the coaches.

To close out this preview, the name of the game for the Terps this year is the same as every other year: Consistency is the name of the game. If this maddeningly inconsistent team can put it together and deliver a constantly good (not necessarily great) effort every Saturday, they can compete for the division and possibly the conference. If they don't, we'll end up at the Eagle Bank Bowl against Navy, and be irrelevant in January, again.